Mouse went low-battery.
Mood went dramatically down.
What makes you smile in life?
Maybe. I. Have. Nothing.
It is almost a month and more I'm back to the place i once called home. Why I have called this my home?
It isn't because here was the place I was born and grew up. Yes, indeed. But best reason to fit in, is that people I love and people who I willing to spend more time with are all here.
Both my family and friends. =)
Family and friends are people whom irreplaceable even someone or anything willing to pay a million of cha-ching to buy them from me.
I came back with a full bag of excitements and looking forward for what i have been long for when I was in Adelaide. I remember the first thought came into me was the feeling of love.
I cant wait to see both my family members and friends. How nice would it be to be with them? How pretty pictures we are going capture for the rest of the days...
However, I never knew that getting back here is a lesson to be learnt.
A lesson which punished and brought me back to where I were.
The only reason that I gave to myself on what makes me smile all these while came to be what makes me cry now.
Maybe I have lost the trust, the pride and the self-esteem
Maybe I weren't the one whom I thought I am a good friend to most of my friends.
Maybe someone was right saying I was not right.
Maybe I should just leave and never come back.
I know what kind of individual I am. I am someone who never gets tired in questioning, I am someone who never give up on friendship, I am someone who ....
Sorry, all these while I was wrong.
The tears i got while writing, you wouldn't see. I gasps that I had through this writing, never been heard...
I am sorry, I have given up.
No, I don't want to give up. It has been craft on the bottom of my heart. I sincerely took them as my best friends, my buddies, my babes and even they are my sisters and brothers.
Is it because I am no good, so I have good things gone once they come? Is it because I am no good, so everything I thought were good disappear once I had them?
Things I have sacrificed, time I have wasted, I know I couldn't have them back now. I only wish, people I love will get what they wish for.
I am a person who never tells the truth. Don't trust me.
May I leave?
No comments:
Post a Comment